Jumping the Gun! 6 Signs You're WAY Ahead of Him Emotionally

Jumping the Gun! 6 Signs You're WAY Ahead of Him Emotionally

Try something this week. Get a group of your friends together (even if it’s just over the phone or online) and ask everyone to share their biggest relationship regrets. Maybe like a Top 5 list. We’d be shocked if it doesn’t come up that many of them regret moving too fast in a relationship. So fast that the guy was like “I’m out.”

It’s an honest (and common) mistake. It’s hard enough to meet someone that you really like and “click” with. And, if it’s been a while since that’s happened, sometimes you can’t help but to want to…speed things along to see if there really is a future or if your head is simply up in the clouds. Thing is, you don’t want to keep doing this only to continue having regrets.

The best way to avoid “jumping the gun” is to pay close attention to signs that you very well could be moving way of ahead of the man you’re digging. Here are some pretty clear indications of that.

1. You’re Using Titles. He Isn’t.

What are you calling him? Your boyfriend? That’s sweet. But before you get too comfortable with the title, pay attention to what he’s calling you. Is it “girlfriend” or is it his friend? Or is it nothing at all? 

We must admit that sometimes we can miss out on a potentially really good thing because we’re more into titles than we should be. But that doesn’t mean they aren't relevant or significant. If you’re calling him your man and he’s not reciprocating by calling you his woman, you’re setting yourself up for having expectations that he may be prepared to follow through on. A lot can be said for a title. Even more can be said for him not giving you one.

2. You’re Introducing Him To Your Peeps. He’s Not.

He knows everyone in your world. Your family. Your friends. Your co-workers. He and your dog get along extremely well. Meanwhile, you only know a few names because he takes their calls while the two of you are hanging out. Expecting to meet a man’s folks during the first couple of months of dating is a tad unrealistic. But if it’s been six months or more and that’s still the case, you really need to inquire why. At the very least, he’s a commitment-phobe. That’s not something to shrug off.

3. You’re Talking About Holidays. He Hasn’t Mentioned Next Weekend.

When a guy sees you as someone he’s casually dating, he’s not thinking in the long-term. Nothing about the word casual speaks to that (one definition literally means “without definite or serious intention”). So, if he’s the kind of guy who calls to go to the movies 48 hours before and that’s his consistent pattern, there is no reason for you to expect him to be thinking about Christmas or the Fourth of July. If you’re already thinking about going on a summer vacation, but he’s on the fence about checking out a show this weekend, yeah…you’re probably way ahead of him. On a few levels. Pay attention.

4. You’re Telling People You’re Off The Market. He’s Dating Around.

Are you not seeing anyone else? Meanwhile, you’ve heard that he is? And by “heard”, we mean that you’ve gone on his social media accounts and seen pictures of him hanging out with other women while his status continues to say “single”? This honestly doesn’t make him a jerk. No man should be faulted for an assumption made on someone else’s part. That’s why communication is soooooo important. That said, if you are devoting yourself exclusively to him and he’s not showing one sign of doing the same…well. Yeah. You get where we're going with this one.

5. You’re Talking About How You Feel. He’s Saying Nothing.

We love ice cream. We love jewelry. We love the show Insecure (we really really love it !). Sometimes we use the word “love” so loosely that it loses some of its value and things get lost in translation when we say it to a person. A person we’ve fallen for. 

If you’re telling him “I love you”, while some men immediately know that means “And I’m looking at forever”, some guys totally miss the point. They’re like “I love you too, girl!” which means not much more than “Yeah, you’re cool.” Or worse, he totally changes the subject when feelings come up at all. 

One definition of heart is “the center of your emotions” and your feelings are precious. Don’t be quick to express meaningful sentiments. Also pay attention to who’s saying the most. If it’s you, back up a bit. It’s one of the most telling signs that you’re moving waaaaaaay ahead of him, and that he needs time to catch up. Or, that you need the space to see if it's time to let go.

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